A weight of unbearable sadness fell on those who loved her when Valerie Reavis Matthews passed from this life on October 27, 2024. But that sadness is tempered by the memories and the forever effect on her family and friends, of this inspiring and brave and uncommonly common wife and mother and grandmother and great grandmother.

Valerie treated everyone, whatever kind of life they might have, as if they were a close friend. She truly valued everyone she met, and they soon knew it. She inspired her family and many others to accomplish what they could, and to bear setback or even failure as just another temporary delay.

Valerie loved her real estate business and had unique but effective methods of getting others to follow her in whatever she might want. She would head out on her own into her next chosen course, however difficult and nearly insurmountable it might be, with apparent and true confidence that she would succeed. Sometimes that was not possible, but many times others joined her with energy and enthusiasm and the best they had. She inspired others to try as hard as she did, since for those who knew her, it was unthinkable to let the poor brave thing fail. As a result, she nearly never did. But whatever happened, she accepted it as the next thing she would have to work on.

It is a great understatement that she was given challenges throughout her life which others could not endure. Left very young on her own with two young children and nearly no one else, her solution was to open a business she could do at home, on her own. Almost always she surprisingly excelled. With just a little help as time went on, she achieved many admirable successes which no one would expect if they knew her only casually.

Her last years included injury and illnesses, many times the result of always moving forward with her eye only on her goal. Although the last several years her life had been very limited, it never made her surrender. Always believing that she could overcome anything, she almost always had, many times in the face of an unbelievable weight of serious illnesses and injuries. But she would tell us if she could only that time did not permit her to do it again.

Even on this last path for Valerie, her struggle brought inspiration and sweetness she had given her family all her life. As she faded and faded from us to leave us almost without response from her, her last were responses to Husband Jim's efforts to kiss her many times on her last few days. Though she had her mouth open most of the time for more air, motionless, with her eyes closed, she closed her mouth and made the smallest of smacks several times in response to his kisses. When she could still talk, she asked us to take her home because she wanted her family. After she could not speak from her treatment, she still strained to talk. But she had already said what we knew she wanted to say, because she had expressed her love to us in many ways for all her life.

Valerie also loved her dogs and cats. While Valerie loved flowers, and they can be a

helpful expression of support for her family, she was a contributor to several animal welfare organizations, and we encourage others to do the same.

Although Valerie was not one who expressed lots of emotion, we all have smiled and laughed about occasional expressions of happiness and joy. Although no one had ever seen her dance, in New Orleans, her most favorite place away from home, she suddenly danced excitedly to the music in what looked like a good Irish jig, although she did not know any. Such occasions were all the sweeter because it was so unexpected, like the most perfect of diamonds may appear from common surrounding materials.

Valerie accepted the grace offered by Christ and we can all be comforted and rejoice that at the moment of her passing she was embraced by the arms of God.

Now is the usual time to name the "survivors", but Valerie is so much a part of her family and many of those who love her that such a division between life and death is woefully inaccurate. There are no "survivors", but only those who carry on in this world, with Valerie a part of everything we say or do. Those who carry on are James S. Matthews, Jr., husband; Rebecca (Becky) Miles, daughter and her husband Anthony Miles; John Damon Reavis, son and his wife, Jenny Reavis; grandchildren, Catelyn (Melvin) Reavis-Cole, Ryan Reavis, Dustee Miles, Jacob Reavis, Mailee Reavis, Jaxon Reavis; great grandchildren, Autumn Cole and Olivia Cole; Michelle (Larry) Richardson, sister; Pat McCown, brother; Nicole Richardson, niece; Lance Richardson, nephew; and many aunts, uncles, and cousins.